Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
