You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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