Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
