Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
