i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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