girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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