If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
