Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
