chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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