There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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