Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
