I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
