then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
