yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have aggressive nipples.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
