he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
