ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
