But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
