so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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