Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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