There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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