his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
