Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
