Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
