You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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