garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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