smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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