i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
