I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
