Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
