I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
