This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
