youre lurking in front of me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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