I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
