Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ok first of all what the fuck
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
