Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
