so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if only i could text you this smell
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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