I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
