i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
