No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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