I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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