I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
