I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
