I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
