The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
