i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
