Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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