So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
