i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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