I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
