don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
